I will NOT love for crumbs anymore......

I dishonored myself by laying with a man who had intentions to


USE ME


Use me for Sex


Use me for Money


USE ME


Use me for a Hot Meal


Use me for Companionship


USE ME


Use me as an object , to be picked up and played with on a whim, tossed aside when bored.


Use me as arm candy to be paraded up and down the street ...smiling prettily at all those we meet.


USE ME


Use me for my problem solving skills....


Use me for love....


That's the worst.....to be used for love. Expecting, demanding, taking my love ...knowing you didn't plan on returning it.

But, you know what's worse ....knowing in the recess of one's mind.


..... where the skeletons are locked up real tight, way back there, back there with shame & doubt, a place so dark that pride or self love cannot live.


The truth lives.


I always knew.

Yet, I went along with it ...... I did it to feel whole...apart of something.


Regardless of how horrid, I wanted to belong, be  part of, be not alone......BE ONE.... even for a moment....even under false pretenses I wanted to belong.


That's my truth .....I loved whole heartedly and paid an exorbitant price .....for crumbs.


Crumbs of love.... I gave the best of me for crumbs. Tiny fragments that could fall between my fingers with the gentlest of winds.


I gave away the best and purest expression of my soul for less than nothing.


As a result, I have died and am reborn ....what was... can never be again. But, I will never love for crumbs again.


Yet, I will always commit to love.

Redefining a Goddess.......

Goddess

1. Any sort of God, deity, or anything that is worshipped and is female. 2 A woman who is so beautiful, brilliant, and wholesome that she is simply not like any other women on Earth and therefore possesses some sort of uncommon spiritual element that while is cannot be solidly defined it is clearly present.   3 A female being of supernatural powers or attributes, believed in and worshiped by a people.   4 A woman of superior charms and/or excellence.   5 A woman who is adored, especially for her beauty.   6 A woman whose great charm or beauty arouses great adoration.   7 A woman of extraordinary beauty, grace, and appeal.   8 A greatly admired or adored woman.   9  A woman of extraordinary lure.   10 A woman of graceful stature and superior beauty.   11 A woman whose beauty, charm, wile, inspires great affinity.     Here are a  few definitions I gathered online. I love some of these definitions especially # 2   " A woman who is so beautiful, brilliant, and wholesome that she is simply not like any other women on Earth and therefore possesses some sort of uncommon spiritual element that while is cannot be solidly defined it is clearly present."   However, our definition of the word goddess can use expansion. As women we are all unique and unlike any other woman on earth. I believe what separates earth bound Goddesses from  mortals women is her intuition, inner strength, self worth,  need to serve, contribute, enlighten,uplift, inspire, assert, empathize, solve problems, and create or recreate her enviroment for the greater good of all. She's shares many traits with the Alpha Female but her goal isn't to lead exclusively but create as many leaders as possible.   Being a Goddess isn't all about beauty, wiles, and adoration.The source of  Goddesses  power is an understanding of love as an explainable phenomena which transcends all perceived problems.God's law states that we love our neighbor as we love ourselves. Because we are all one so self love extends to all. What serves one persons good serves the good of all. This inner knowing creates a light within which radiates outwardly and touches all those around us. I believe tapping into this personal power raises ones vibration and guides the soul toward its life purpose.   This singular truth has inspired me to create this blog.   I aspire to be a Love Goddess.I aspire to connect to my divine feminine energy.  I aspire to document my connection to my own personal power. I aspire to transform my life on a spiritual, physical, and emotional level. I aspire to understand the true power of love.