Sunday, September 1, 2013
Sunday, August 25, 2013
EGO Eradicater
Based on my last post and all that I've been experiencing, its safe to assume that I've been battling my shadow side. Rather than go down without a fight, I've been proactive in facing my inner demons.
After temporarily freaking out about the situation at work . I decided to reframe and figure out what blessings were packaged with my challenges A.K.A soul smoothing... honing sandpaper. I decided that besides letting go of my illusions of fear. My situation has uncovered my true desire to live authentically Although, I'm grateful for my job .......it isn't want I really want for myself. What I truly desire is to the freedom of working for myself - I want to write, learn about me, and inspire others in the process.
After temporarily freaking out about the situation at work . I decided to reframe and figure out what blessings were packaged with my challenges A.K.A soul smoothing... honing sandpaper. I decided that besides letting go of my illusions of fear. My situation has uncovered my true desire to live authentically Although, I'm grateful for my job .......it isn't want I really want for myself. What I truly desire is to the freedom of working for myself - I want to write, learn about me, and inspire others in the process.
In order to strengthen my resolve, I need to be strong, hence my new work out plan focused on strength training. I went to Trader Joe's and bought unprocessed foods in order to gain mental clarity. I've been feeling really sluggish and low on energy. Therefore, need to fuel my body properly.
I also bought some herbs and plant based roots such as Eucalyptus, Dragon's Blood, Angelica, Lobelia, Patchouli, Peppermint, etc. and created a purification, protection from lower energies (even my own), aura strengthening, and self love bath infused with prayer, affirmations, and Psalm 91 recital, submerging myself in natures gifts has helped me to feel refreshed and nurtured.
Another important part of this conscious transformation has been meditation. I've started Debbie Ford's 21 day Consciousness cleanse. I'm only on day two but the meditations and journaling has helped me become more self aware, clearer, and allowed access to my higher self and instructions on how to proceed with this part of my evolution.
Finally, I bought an image candles which I've anointed with my personal success oil , infused with plant essence, prayer, invocations, crystal energy, and Reiki and burned a white candle releasing all my fears, feelings of bewilderment, phobias, and anxiety's.
My goal is to stay focused on me, access my higher wisdom, and tap into my greatness; as I'm fearfully and wonderfully made. I did these rituals to drive the truth into my sub conscious and edge my EGO out....I AM a trust fund baby of the universe and will be taken care of no matter what. I'm always at the right place at the right time, as a reminder to remain present.
I am so grateful for the outcome and hope you benefit from reading this .....Have a great week!!!!
XOXOXO
Shinah
* Be advised I'm not following any specific formal for oils, baths, etc....just following my inner guidance ...Goddess. Please follow yours there is no right or wrong way to use any of the items above, just be careful about ingesting ...research*
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Courage
" Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage"
Anais Nin
The quote above struck a nerve. So, I sat in the energy of these words for a few weeks and wondered to myself....
Is life shrinking or expanding for me?
Can courage and fear exist simultaneously?
What am I doing to consciously expand my life?
What is courage?
Courage as defined by Merriam's dictionary : mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.
With that being said, I realize that courage can be subtle, nearly invisible, and can exist without being recognized.
Perseverance is one of the many facets of being courageous . The ability to continue along a path in the midst of obstacles or potential failure. Perseverance is the ability to supress the desire to quit or do something easier.
I single out this particular facet because it's such an important ability and requires constant honing. The ability to perseverance translate into knowing ones value, being able to receive, overcome low self esteem, negative self talk, ignore naysayers , and stand in ones truth.
With that said, I apologize for neglecting this site over the past few months. I've been really busy focusing on all the wrong things and in the process learning all about courage. I landed my dream job in a well known company which quickly turned into a nightmare. Although, my new job offers a new title, notoriety, challenges me , pays more than I've ever earned, and provides me with an opportunity to increase my skills - it hasn't been all roses. It has been hard. I was hired as a replacement for a person who had been demoted two days prior to my arrival. Long story short, I found myself entrenched in power struggles, alienation, and on the receiving end of intentional sabotage e.g. incorrect information provided for reports, etc. Honestly, games I'm ill equipped to play.
My reaction to being in an unfamiliar hostile environment has been to raise my walls, overcompensate by working hard long hours, and manage me my fear day to day. The fear of being perceived as under qualified, unprofessional, incompetent, unlikeable, etc. Then the worst thing that could possibly happen.....happened. I went to my boss from help and he basically brushed me off which made me feel like he perceived me as all of the above or worse expendable. Guys, let me tell you that did a number on my self esteem.
But, I'm glad it all happened.
The situation above forced me to get in touch with my personal power .....my inner Goddess. I was forced to look within in order to define myself outside of the good opinion of others. Let me tell you that was terrifying. My livelihood and current lifestyle depends on opinions....my boss, colleagues , and tenant opinions....right?
Wrong!!! that silly notion had me working myself into near burn out, placing my divine power in the hands of others, kept me fearful therefore closed off to what the universe had to offer, and drove me to the brink of insanity as I tried to control the uncontrollable. My fear robbed me of joy and had me convinced that the worst thing I could have done was leave the comfort of my old job.
Courage came from standing in my discomfort and not expecting my situation to change.
Courage meant that I had to change. It meant facing my fears and chosing to have faith instead of worrying because I can't do both. Faith that today will go my way and if it doesn't there is an unseen path leading me to my highest potential. To have faith means having the strength to trust.
Courage meant that I had to feel uncomfortable and allow the abrasiveness of the entire situation to refine , shape, smooth me out and make me stronger.
Perseverance means that I showed up when I wanted to quit.When my gut clenched up as I walked through the door, I made my way into the battlefield with a positive attitude, renewed faith and vows to make sure that I sucked the life out of all my situation had to offer. I made it through the storm and things have changed because I took my power back.... I've cultivated a new trait.....Strength.
I take my lunch in the park, leave on time, no longer come in on the weekends, try my best and go home. I no longer take work home with me in thought and therefore it no longer follows me energetically.
Guess what?! The world hasn't collapsed, my work hasn't suffered, and I'm happier.
I AM Courageous and my life has will continue expand as a result. I've come to the realization that my dream job isn't my dream but society's approved path. I AM now taking steps to pursue my dreams.
So, I've come to realize courage and fear can exsit simultaneously. As a matter of fact courage is often found while facing ones fear.
Anais Nin
The quote above struck a nerve. So, I sat in the energy of these words for a few weeks and wondered to myself....
Is life shrinking or expanding for me?
Can courage and fear exist simultaneously?
What am I doing to consciously expand my life?
What is courage?
Courage as defined by Merriam's dictionary : mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.
With that being said, I realize that courage can be subtle, nearly invisible, and can exist without being recognized.
Perseverance is one of the many facets of being courageous . The ability to continue along a path in the midst of obstacles or potential failure. Perseverance is the ability to supress the desire to quit or do something easier.
I single out this particular facet because it's such an important ability and requires constant honing. The ability to perseverance translate into knowing ones value, being able to receive, overcome low self esteem, negative self talk, ignore naysayers , and stand in ones truth.
With that said, I apologize for neglecting this site over the past few months. I've been really busy focusing on all the wrong things and in the process learning all about courage. I landed my dream job in a well known company which quickly turned into a nightmare. Although, my new job offers a new title, notoriety, challenges me , pays more than I've ever earned, and provides me with an opportunity to increase my skills - it hasn't been all roses. It has been hard. I was hired as a replacement for a person who had been demoted two days prior to my arrival. Long story short, I found myself entrenched in power struggles, alienation, and on the receiving end of intentional sabotage e.g. incorrect information provided for reports, etc. Honestly, games I'm ill equipped to play.
My reaction to being in an unfamiliar hostile environment has been to raise my walls, overcompensate by working hard long hours, and manage me my fear day to day. The fear of being perceived as under qualified, unprofessional, incompetent, unlikeable, etc. Then the worst thing that could possibly happen.....happened. I went to my boss from help and he basically brushed me off which made me feel like he perceived me as all of the above or worse expendable. Guys, let me tell you that did a number on my self esteem.
But, I'm glad it all happened.
The situation above forced me to get in touch with my personal power .....my inner Goddess. I was forced to look within in order to define myself outside of the good opinion of others. Let me tell you that was terrifying. My livelihood and current lifestyle depends on opinions....my boss, colleagues , and tenant opinions....right?
Wrong!!! that silly notion had me working myself into near burn out, placing my divine power in the hands of others, kept me fearful therefore closed off to what the universe had to offer, and drove me to the brink of insanity as I tried to control the uncontrollable. My fear robbed me of joy and had me convinced that the worst thing I could have done was leave the comfort of my old job.
Courage came from standing in my discomfort and not expecting my situation to change.
Courage meant that I had to change. It meant facing my fears and chosing to have faith instead of worrying because I can't do both. Faith that today will go my way and if it doesn't there is an unseen path leading me to my highest potential. To have faith means having the strength to trust.
Courage meant that I had to feel uncomfortable and allow the abrasiveness of the entire situation to refine , shape, smooth me out and make me stronger.
Perseverance means that I showed up when I wanted to quit.When my gut clenched up as I walked through the door, I made my way into the battlefield with a positive attitude, renewed faith and vows to make sure that I sucked the life out of all my situation had to offer. I made it through the storm and things have changed because I took my power back.... I've cultivated a new trait.....Strength.
I take my lunch in the park, leave on time, no longer come in on the weekends, try my best and go home. I no longer take work home with me in thought and therefore it no longer follows me energetically.
Guess what?! The world hasn't collapsed, my work hasn't suffered, and I'm happier.
I AM Courageous and my life has will continue expand as a result. I've come to the realization that my dream job isn't my dream but society's approved path. I AM now taking steps to pursue my dreams.
So, I've come to realize courage and fear can exsit simultaneously. As a matter of fact courage is often found while facing ones fear.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Sorry for not posting
Hi everyone, I'm so sorry for not posting. I've been going through some (positive) life changes and have been really busy. I'm going on vacation next week and plan on taking the time to really write about my Love Goddess training. I have tons to share.
In the meantime, feel free to check out my first blog which resprents my journey to where I am.
http://saturnreturns-grow.blogspot.com/
Remember trainees
" You are beautifully and wonderfully made"
XOXOXO
Shinah
Monday, November 12, 2012
I will NOT love for crumbs anymore......
I dishonored myself by laying with a man who had intentions to
USE ME
Use me for Sex
Use me for Money
USE ME
Use me for a Hot Meal
Use me for Companionship
USE ME
Use me as an object , to be picked up and played with on a whim, tossed aside when bored.
Use me as arm candy to be paraded up and down the street ...smiling prettily at all those we meet.
USE ME
Use me for my problem solving skills....
Use me for love....
That's the worst.....to be used for love. Expecting, demanding, taking my love ...knowing you didn't plan on returning it.
But, you know what's worse ....knowing in the recess of one's mind.
..... where the skeletons are locked up real tight, way back there, back there with shame & doubt, a place so dark that pride or self love cannot live.
The truth lives.
I always knew.
Yet, I went along with it ...... I did it to feel whole...apart of something.
Regardless of how horrid, I wanted to belong, be part of, be not alone......BE ONE.... even for a moment....even under false pretenses I wanted to belong.
That's my truth .....I loved whole heartedly and paid an exorbitant price .....for crumbs.
Crumbs of love.... I gave the best of me for crumbs. Tiny fragments that could fall between my fingers with the gentlest of winds.
I gave away the best and purest expression of my soul for less than nothing.
As a result, I have died and am reborn ....what was... can never be again. But, I will never love for crumbs again.
Yet, I will always commit to love.
USE ME
Use me for Sex
Use me for Money
USE ME
Use me for a Hot Meal
Use me for Companionship
USE ME
Use me as an object , to be picked up and played with on a whim, tossed aside when bored.
Use me as arm candy to be paraded up and down the street ...smiling prettily at all those we meet.
USE ME
Use me for my problem solving skills....
Use me for love....
That's the worst.....to be used for love. Expecting, demanding, taking my love ...knowing you didn't plan on returning it.
But, you know what's worse ....knowing in the recess of one's mind.
..... where the skeletons are locked up real tight, way back there, back there with shame & doubt, a place so dark that pride or self love cannot live.
The truth lives.
I always knew.
Yet, I went along with it ...... I did it to feel whole...apart of something.
Regardless of how horrid, I wanted to belong, be part of, be not alone......BE ONE.... even for a moment....even under false pretenses I wanted to belong.
That's my truth .....I loved whole heartedly and paid an exorbitant price .....for crumbs.
Crumbs of love.... I gave the best of me for crumbs. Tiny fragments that could fall between my fingers with the gentlest of winds.
I gave away the best and purest expression of my soul for less than nothing.
As a result, I have died and am reborn ....what was... can never be again. But, I will never love for crumbs again.
Yet, I will always commit to love.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Redefining a Goddess.......
| Goddess | |||||||
1. Any sort of God, deity, or anything that is worshipped and is female.
2 A woman who is so beautiful, brilliant, and wholesome that she is simply not like any other women on Earth and therefore possesses some sort of uncommon spiritual element that while is cannot be solidly defined it is clearly present.
3 A female being of supernatural powers or attributes, believed in and worshiped by a people.
4 A woman of superior charms and/or excellence.
5 A woman who is adored, especially for her beauty.
6 A woman whose great charm or beauty arouses great adoration.
7 A woman of extraordinary beauty, grace, and appeal.
8 A greatly admired or adored woman.
9 A woman of extraordinary lure.
10 A woman of graceful stature and superior beauty.
11 A woman whose beauty, charm, wile, inspires great affinity.
Here are a few definitions I gathered online. I love some of these definitions especially # 2
" A woman who is so beautiful, brilliant, and wholesome that she is simply not like any other women on Earth and therefore possesses some sort of uncommon spiritual element that while is cannot be solidly defined it is clearly present."
However, our definition of the word goddess can use expansion. As women we are all unique and unlike any other woman on earth. I believe what separates earth bound Goddesses from mortals women is her intuition, inner strength, self worth, need to serve, contribute, enlighten,uplift, inspire, assert, empathize, solve problems, and create or recreate her enviroment for the greater good of all. She's shares many traits with the Alpha Female but her goal isn't to lead exclusively but create as many leaders as possible.
Being a Goddess isn't all about beauty, wiles, and adoration.The source of Goddesses power is an understanding of love as an explainable phenomena which transcends all perceived problems.God's law states that we love our neighbor as we love ourselves. Because we are all one so self love extends to all. What serves one persons good serves the good of all. This inner knowing creates a light within which radiates outwardly and touches all those around us. I believe tapping into this personal power raises ones vibration and guides the soul toward its life purpose.
This singular truth has inspired me to create this blog.
I aspire to be a Love Goddess.I aspire to connect to my divine feminine energy. I aspire to document my connection to my own personal power. I aspire to transform my life on a spiritual, physical, and emotional level. I aspire to understand the true power of love.
| |||||||
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